Fangs for the Mummeries: Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person

Vampire humaniste cherche suicidaire consentant

Directed by Ariane Louis-Seize

Written by Ariane Louis-Seize, Christine Doyon

Produced by Jeanne-Marie Poulain, Line Sander Egede

Starring

Sara Montpetit

Félix-Antoine Bénard

Steve Laplante

Sophie Cadieux

Noémie O’Farrell

Marie Brassard

Patrick Hivon

Marc Beaupré

Cinematography Shawn Pavlin

Edited by Stéphane Lafleur

Music by Pierre-Philippe Côté

Production company Art et Essai

Distributed by H264

Running time 91 minutes

Country Canada

Language French

Box office $100,725

With a title like that, you just know Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person is going to be either bloody awful or absolutely brilliant. It was also released as Humanist Vampire Too Sensitive to Kill and I wouldn’t have bothered to watch it with that title. That sounds more like a tween swoon movie about twinkly vampires who munch cauliflower.

This is more along the lines of another great French black comedy, Eating Raoul. It combines the straight-faced hilarity of Jack Benny with highly relatable characters who remain every bit as likable and empathic even as the situation around them dissolves into gleeful chaos.

Subtitles are a must, even if you are from Paris, since this was shot in rural Quebec. Soixante-neuf Rivieres, or someplace like that.

A young vampire is traumatised on her sixth birthday when her family rents a clown for her birthday party and neglects to warn her the clown isn’t just the entertainment but is also the birthday cake. As a result, she suffers post traumatic stress syndrome, and her fangs never grow in.

Fast forward 62 years, and Sasha is still a youthful 68 years old, and gifted with a flair for playing music on a keyboard, busks on the local streets from sundown onward. Her family, however, is getting a bit tired of supporting a young, healthy vampire who refuses to hunt. They stage an intervention: get your own meals, or get out.

That’s when she meets Paul, a badly bullied and deeply depressed high schooler who wants to end it all. It seems they have converging desires, and start making arrangements.

It turns out that isn’t as straightforward as you might think.

The characters have considerable depth and sensitivity, which of course just adds to the comic appeal.

It only fetched $100,000 at the box office, but I suspect this will become a cult classic. It’s just too good to remain unnoticed. Only I hope they stick with the bolder title. Sometimes even I judge a book by its cover.

Now available on Apple TV+, or for purchase on Amazon.