Written by Jeff Sproul
Directed by Lindsey Moore and Jeremy Mather
Cinematography and Editing by Jeremy Mather
“Xayno,” & “World Space Council Themes” Ben Lindvall
Costume Design Caroline O’Hare
Sound Design Jeremy Mather
Puppet Design Anna Paniccia
Spaceship Design Jeff Sproul
Cast
Rocky Lazer: Matthew Wise
Jean Jarvis: Alicia Barnatchez
Dr. Karlock: Jared Warner
Chip Skipper: Jeremy Mather
King Xayno: Jeff Sproul
Commender Nefarrus: Mike Wirsch
Klarff: Matt Sears
Princess Astra: Michele McNally
Lady Actulus: Erin Leigh Schmoyer
Barron Ozzric: Jeremy Banks
Centurions: Jesse Bernath, D. Robert Wolcheck
President Walter Jarvis: Sean Williams
Dr. Crabbe: Timothy Mather
Dr. Middleton: Nicolas Marti
Handmaiden Assassin: Alexis Robbins
Screaming Earth Woman: Meredith Hackett
Screaming Squirrel Woman: Ryan Michele Woods
Highwaymen: Alec Knox, Ruby Rinekso, Mark Stochmal, Jeff Woods
Special Appearances by Fish and Greg
You can’t watch Space Captain without thinking of Steven Spielberg.
Oh, maybe I was unclear. You’re thinking of ET, or Jaws, or Schindler’s List. No, no, this is a Steven Spielberg who is eight years old, dicking around with his dad’s 8mm windup movie camera, probably without permission, using ball point pens on strings as special effects rocket ships for a gigantic space opera movie, “Killer Space Rabbits from Planet Yourhairybutt.”
In fact, the Space Captain: Captain of Space started as some sort of off-off-off-off-way off-Broadway thing, a stage play of the same name, and the movie started when someone started recording the play with a VCR and someone said, “You know what would be cool? Let’s make a movie of this!” Followed by an exhalation of large clouds of blue smoke.
The result is an extremely cheesy movie.
Now cheesy movies break down into three broad categories. There’s the ones that are unintentionally bad. Those in turn are two sub-sets. You get some that are so bad they’re good (The Room, Plan Nine) and some that are so bad they’re dire (Birdemic). Then there’s the intentionally bad ones, like the SF channel loves so much. Those are rarely worth watching. And finally, there’s the Search for the Holy Grail bad.
The Monty Python effort showcased the talents of the troupe, combining utter absurdity with an insouciant erudition. Killer Rabbits, “Come back and fight like a ka-niggit!”, “I wave my private parts in your general direction.” The broom stick horses. If you haven’t seen Grail, you are culturally deprived. Or perhaps culturally depraved depending on local ordinances.
Space Captain falls into the final category. Oh, it’s not particularly erudite, and nobody can match the mad original genius of the Snakes, but it combines a knowing absurdity with tons of metaironic dialogue that makes for a surprisingly entertaining movie. It’s a lot like the cult anime, Space Dandy, a dandy guy in space.
The plot—and there is a plot of sorts—is that evil King Zayno (Jeff Sproul) wants to destroy the Earth just because, and he’s got a gravity ray to plough the Moon directly into the Earth. The Moon is only fifty miles away when our story begins. The President (Sean Williams, who looks vaguely like George Clooney but isn’t) sends Earth’s number one Space Hero, Rocky Lazer (Matthew Wise) to stop the collision and give Zayno a stern talking-to. He is accompanied by his brave crew, including Chip Skipper (Jeremy Mather), Jean Jarvis, (Alicia Barnatchez) and Dr. Karlock (Jared Warner). Chip gets killed by a giant monster kitten in the first reel, but don’t worry; he does that. He’ll die a half dozen more times in the movie, and the rest of the crew gets pretty tired of it. Jean is the President’s daughter, and her main talents are screaming and fainting. She makes Princess Buttercup look like Xena. And Karlock is this universe’s answer to Doctor Smith from the original Lost in Space—if Smith had been played by John Belushi.
The rest of the cast is fairly arresting. There’s a squirrel-man from the Moon (Matt Sears) who joins the crew after defeating the monster kitten. Zayno’s daughter, Princess Astra (Michele McNally) struts around in a suitable-for-family-viewing dominatrix outfit and is a bit like Sarah Silverman as written by Frank Zappa. Some of the best lines lay in her constant bickering. There’s a mystic oracle of a great mountain, Lady Actulus (Erin Leigh Schmoyer) who sidelines as a reality TV marriage therapist.
This 2018 effort didn’t draw a lot of attention when it was first released, for obvious reasons, but then inexplicably Amazon Prime picked it up, and has been advertising it. Someone recognized, correctly, that this could be a cult classic.
Don’t be fooled by the idiotic plot and incredibly bad special effects: this is an immensely entertaining movie. Not Monty Python, but you can see them from there.
Now inexplicably on Amazon Prime.